stress...

this week is my ovulation week... and just so happen hubby's grandparents are moving in with us. Not that I being non-respect but they are really a pair of troublemaker, now this week is such a stressful week especially to my hubby I totally have no confident that we can conceive even we did try out this week.

Plus my bbt chart for this month looks so unstable which gave me unnecessary stress, like this morning I need to remind myself not to think about it but I can't as my heart was beating so fast and hard when I see my temperature shot up. I have to agree with my gynae, TCM and hubby I am really giving myself unnecessary stress that cause to issue for us having difficult to conceive healthily.

pending for Ovulation

I am 18 days after period and still waiting for my ovulation. I am puzzle with my own body,  as i am using the clear blue fertility monitor, till to-date my monitor still telling me I am not fertile. Instead of puzzle, I'm more like worried with myself... am I really not fertile at all? Based on my past record, approximately day 16 I will be ovulating but now I am not even fertile.. :(

Yesterday I went to my cousins's baby shower, once again I am been asked about this question: "when is your turn?". My answer to this question is "GOD dont want to give me, what can I do", i realised this answer is the best answer for this type of question. People who asked the question and got this answer will not dare to further the conversation as the hint is way too obvious.

Suddenly I recalled, I still got balance of the ovulation strips, I am not sure should I test together with the fertility test.  If I do, am I stressing myself? 2 weeks ago I went to see my TCM, she told me I am stress but last Friday was my follow up and she told me I am much calmer. I hopes this is a good sign for me.

Now I am really hoping GOD will give me the baby dust, I need my hubby to be around this week. He is on standby to India but please dont let him go off today, tomorrow or Wednesday. Please let him go off at least on Friday... I am very sure this week is my ovulation week and bet to go for a try!

first step....

Before this blog, I had one which I journaled it as my diary but I had deleted away because it was filled with sad memories. Now I decided to open this blog to officially journal down my path to parenthood, of course I am not a mother yet but trying hard to conceive.


My hubby and I have been officially trying since year 2009, I had a miscarriage in October 2009 and subsequently I got twice ectopic pregnancy in July 2010 and February 2011. Don't know am I consider lucky, as having twice ectopic pregnancy at my left fallopian tube, my left fallopian tube is still intact with me in my body. Now before we going to try again, I need to get my health and body back in shape so beside going back to my gynae for follow ups I have been seeing TCM too.


My TCM is located in Chinatown,  she was highly recommended in mummysg forum hence I am taking my bet on her. I am very supportive to TCM, although it takes longer path to conceive but as compare with western treatment, herbs are better than pills. I always think western pills are "poisonous" as it will leave "mark" in your body by giving you side effect either with immediately effect or when you are old.


Beside seeing doc, I also bought a Clearblue fertility monitor and test sticks to track my fertility. I had just started using it unfortunately I had accidentally miss out the first test date which was supposed to be today ha ha ha... the monitor prompted me to test but i was in the zombie states in the morning so totally forgotten about the monitor when I woke up. Nevertheless I know it is not my fertility period yet as being serious in the project I have been doing monthly BBT chart and my BBT chart told me I am still far away from my fertility. 


I have to admit that I am giving all my mean to this conceiving project, to the extend that my TCM told me I am Stress! Although I don't feel the stress, but my pulse is telling her I AM. I have no idea how to calm myself down as I couldn't feel the stress at all, what worst is my hubby also think the same as her. 


Now, my next step is to calm and relax myself, I haven't feature how yet but I believe I will.